


Of Wingmen and Omnics

by Sugar_Junkie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Dating, Double Dating, F/F, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Memes, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other, it was meant to be crack but then I caught feelings so, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 00:45:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12445653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugar_Junkie/pseuds/Sugar_Junkie
Summary: This cyborg ninja asked his brother to come to a double date with him: you won't believe what happened next!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Niennathevalar](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Niennathevalar).



Hanzo sat on top of the crate and closed his eyes. The sunset glowed red through his eyelids.  _ This isn’t blood _ , he reminded himself.  _ Focus. _

_ Breathe in. Breathe out. Deeply. Find your center, the peace in the middle of the storm. _

Down the cliff, the waves lapped gently at the rock. The wind carried the smell of the ocean and the cries of the seagulls. He could get used to this. Everything here was different from Hanamura, pleasantly so. Memories of betrayal didn’t seep from the metal walls of the Gibraltar base and, though some of the Overwatch members didn’t seem too favourably disposed toward him, most were courteous. None had tried to murder him, at least.

“Brother, you have to come with me!”

It took all of Hanzo’s self control not to jump out of his skin and punch the intruder. He was getting rusty if Genji managed to catch him off-guard so easily. He took one last deep breath and relaxed his posture. His meditation would wait.

“Of course. I shall get my bow ready. How much time do we have?”

His brother stopped and cocked his head to the side

“Why would you need your bow?”

“The mission,” he replied, frowning. “That is the reason why you came in such a hurry, is it not?”

“The miss… Oh no, no, nothing like that.” A soft laugh escaped him and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “There is no need for arrows today, brother.”

Hanzo blinked a few times. Genji wouldn’t meet his eyes, his body language screaming his embarrassment.

“Why would you require my presence then?”

“I have a date.”

“You always have a date, I fail to see how this is relevant...“

“Had. I always “had” dates, it’s been years since the last one. I think you can guess why.” Genji gestured toward his cybernetic body and Hanzo winced.

Silence lingered between them, heavy and awkward. Then Genji sighed, his voice crackling with an electronic warble.

“That was uncalled for, I’m sorry Hanzo.”

“It is only the truth.”

“Maybe, but that’s not the point.” He sighed again. “The point is… I need you to be my wingman.”

“I must admit I’m confused, brother. You never needed my presence before and you said yourself that I’m a terrible wingman.”

“It’s a long story.”

“I have time,” Hanzo said, gesturing to the crate next to his. Genji sat down and stared at the sea. After a long silence, he finally started speaking.

The archer listened.

 

***************************************

 

It took him about six months to realize that what he was feeling wasn’t just friendship, or respect anymore. Maybe it should have been obvious: most students didn’t get butterflies in their stomach whenever they glanced at their Master. And most students didn’t find their thoughts drifting toward him whenever they try to meditate. And they didn’t dream of his voice and of his hands at night, and...

But then again, while he had plenty of experience when it came to flirts and one night stands... He had never been in love before. He had dates, yes, but they never mattered. Just crushes and fuck buddies that came in and out of his life without leaving a trace. That was different.

Between then and now, he had been almost murdered by his brother, rebuilt into a bootleg Six Million Dollar Man, became a Blackwatch agent, ran away, almost died of cold in Nepal, joined a monastery, got recalled by Winston, made up with his brother and discovered himself a passion for knitting. It was a  _ lot _ to process, and it made sense that *Love* hadn’t been the first thing to come to his mind.

Now that Genji knew, there were only two paths open before him. He could do nothing and wait until he got over it. Or he could put on his metaphorical big boy pants and confess.

He wasn’t afraid of rejection. If Zenyatta didn’t return his feelings, he would let him down gently. They would remain friends. Their relationship wasn’t so weak that it’d get ruined by a little unrequited love. But back when he was younger, he would just drag his fling of the moment wherever he wanted to go. He never stopped to think about what  _ they _ wanted. Why should he? If they weren’t having fun, they could leave; he didn’t mind.

Zenyatta deserved better.

So, supposing his Master even agreed to a date... Genji had no idea where to take him.

So he spent the next two weeks carefully researching everything. Lena and her girlfriend were both very helpful and patient, answering his inane questions and giving him pointers. He had never thought of himself as a romantic before. He used to scoff at people kissing in the rain and all that mushy stuff, but now? He had to admit he saw the appeal. It was fun. He was enjoying thinking about what would make his Master happy, where he would like to go, the things that he would want to do.

Finding the right present was the hardest part. He wasn’t sure he should even bring him a present, material possessions being meaningless to the Shambali Monks. But Genji  _ wanted  _ to give him something. Chocolates were right out, obviously. Jewelry was too much for a first date. He could knit him something, but he had made sweaters for everyone last winter and it had to be something special. Flowers were traditional but… He disliked the idea of giving him something dead. The answer came to him as he was meditating. For once, he was grateful for his helmet, as he was grinning like a lunatic all day.

When all was said and done, he booked a booth in an Omnic friendly cafe Lùcio had recommended. The lights were warm and soft there, and a band played jazz every afternoon. Humans and Omnics united by music; Zenyatta would love it.

 

***************************************

 

Loving an Omnic? How repugnant. The sheer idea made Hanzo cringe.

Genji was still looking at the horizon, shoulders tight and hands balled into fists on his lap. He looked... Vulnerable. The last time he had seen him so fragile, he was bleeding out on the floor. Eyes fearful and wide, begging and pleading and crawling. Writhing like a worm cut in two.

_ Deep breathes. That time is gone. Memories can not reach you. _

Hanzo grit his teeth, swallowing back the scathing words that threatened to spill from his lips. Their fragile bond might be severed again, for good this time. He didn’t get his brother’s attraction to that Master of his, but he could force himself to be courteous for his sake.

“So you require my help to ask him out?”

“No, I did that already!” Genji rolled his eyes. “I’m not twelve, brother.”

“Then I fail to see why you need me at all. Unless he refused you and you want him assassinated? That I can do.” His voice lifted with interest.

“No! Why would I even… No. No assassination. Don’t even joke about it. Ever. He said yes, and that he’d be delighted.” 

“But?”

“But I think he misunderstood, because he invited a friend along. This is why you have to be my wingman, Hanzo. I need you to be the friend’s date and to keep them busy so I can court him in peace.”

Hanzo blinked once. Twice. This had to be a prank. But Genji didn’t laugh. He just waited for an answer, unmoving. Hanzo rubbed his temples. He could just feel the beginning of a migraine rearing its ugly head.

“You are serious.”

“Yes.”

“Back when we were boys, you called me “the worst date of Japan” after that disastrous goukon  _ you _ had dragged me to. For once, I’m inclined to agree. You know my conversational skills are… subpar. Surely, you can ask someone else.”

“It might come as a shock to you, Hanzo, but you are the best option I have.” He shook his head at his brother’s confusion. “It is true that you’re downright terrible at making small talk but…” He raised his hand, lowering his fingers as he counted. “Angela would gush and take pictures and insist on picking my outfit. Reinhardt would ruin any attempts at romance, although he didn’t mean to. Jesse is a wanted man and the last thing I want is bounty hunters crashing my date. Hana would crack jokes and purposely embarrass me. You’re the only one I trust.”

“What about that musician? Isn’t he your friend?”

An awkward silence followed. Genji squirmed and cleared his throat.

“Lucio? Well… He, uh… He has a concert in Numbani. He can’t be there.”

“I’m your second choice.”

“...Yes.”

“What a relief,” Hanzo deadpanned. “I’m not cut to be anyone’s first choice as a wingman. A burden is lifted from my shoulders. My skin is clear. My crops are thriving. The sun is shining. I feel so alive, world order has been restored.”

Genji let out a strangled noise that was somewhere in between the snort and the whimper.

“Are you… Hanzo, is that a meme? Are you seriously quoting vintage memes at me?”

“Maybe,” He smirked, pleased with himself, and got up. “I will accompany you to that date of yours.”

“Yosh!” Genji pumped his fist in the air. “Thank you, brother.”

“I swear I shall do my best to entertain your Master’s friend.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Brother, no.”

“That’s a Bastion unit, Genji.”

“Brother, put that fork down.”

“Why is there a Bastion unit sitting next to me. Why is it wearing a christmas sweater.”

Genji took a deep breath, praying the dragons to grant him patience. When he talked again, his voice was calm and controlled.

“This is not a Bastion unit, this is Bastion. And they happen to be both a precious Overwatch agent and Master Zenyatta's friend. And I  _ made _ that sweater.“ He turned to the robot. “I’m glad you like it by the way.”

Hanzo grunted and slowly lowered his fork. First, dating Omnics, now, bringing Bastion units to a cafe. That Swiss doctor must have messed up with Genji’s brain when she rebuilt him.

“Genji, can I talk to you? In private?”

“Of course. Bastion, if you’ll excuse us…”

The toilets were in the same as the rest of the cafe, charmingly retro with a little jazz flair, and so clean you could probably also eat there safely. Still, it was probably not the best place to have an Important Discussion with your brother. Better than the street, still.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but you would have said no,” Hanzo rubbed his temples, willing his migraine away. Genji carried on, his voice serious. “I know this is surprising but Bastion is really nice. I wouldn’t ask this of you otherwise. Give them a chance? They like gardening and animals and Disney movies. You couldn’t find an easier guest to entertain, everything is fascinating to their eyes... Uh, their eye? Light sensor? Whatever they use to see.“

“Of course I would have said no. I am saying no  _ right now _ .” Hanzo hissed. Sweaters. Disney movies. What the actual fuck. He raised his arms in frustration and turned to the door. “This is stupid. I’m leaving.”

“No you’re not.”

“What?”

“You heard me right.” The smile was back in Genji’s voice, all seriousness gone, and it made his skin crawl. That was the voice he used before pulling a particularly terrible prank or a dangerous stunt back when they were kids. It meant only trouble. “You’re not leaving. “I swear I shall do my best to entertain your Master’s friend.”, that’s what you said. We made a deal, you know what that means.”

“I… You lied to me about the circumstances!” Hanzo spluttered.

“I didn’t lie,  _ you _ didn’t ask. And that’s on you.”

He enjoyed seeing his brother bristle like an indignant cat under the rain. As a Shimada, he couldn’t argue with that logic. How many deals had their Clan sealed with those kind of tactics?

“Father would be proud,” Hanzo finally muttered, but there was no bite behind it. “Very well. I shall do it, since I’m honor bound. I guess that out of all the things I have commited, “went on a date with a Bastion unit” isn’t nearly the worst.”

“That’s the spirit!”

They headed back. Bastion hadn’t moved from their spot, gently playing with a tiny yellow bird. Was it there from the start? Hanzo hadn’t noticed.

None of this made any sense. This was madness.

Genji’s visor glowed with unspoken threats. Hanzo had promised. His “Shimada Heir” mask fell back on his face. He sat back at his place and crossed his hands in front of him.

“Thank you for waiting. It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance, Bastion. I apologize for trying to stab you with a fork.”

Bastion thrilled happily and Genji cocked his head to the side.

“They say they don’t mind; they get that a lot.”

Hanzo believed it. What he found hard to believe was that he seemed to be the only person in the whole room even batting an eyelid at the presence of a Bastion unit. He would have expected a lot more panicked screaming. But everyone seemed okay with the whole situation. A waitperson holding a platter was even walking up to their booth. Hanzo took note of the “she/her” pronouns button pinned to the Omnic’s uniform. She set down water glasses in front of them.

“Hello, my name’s Jinghua and I’ll be your waitress today.” She turned to Bastion. “It’s a pleasure to have you back! Will Mister Correia dos Santos join you today?” She nodded as they beeped back. “Oh, really? I’m looking forward to it. Here are the menus, I’ll give you guys a few minutes.”

At Hanzo’s pointed stare, Genji just shrugged.

“From what I know, that cafe was meant to be shut down and destroyed. I think something was wrong with the walls? Or the foundations? They wanted to build a parking spot instead, can you imagine? Anyway, Lucio heard of it. He set up a fundraiser and gave a charity concert and he paid for the rest with his own money. The whole place was renovated. I think he also got it classified as a Listed Building, or something like that? Ask him yourself if you want more details, I don’t quite remember. Long story short, he brings Bastion around often.”

That explained a lot. Hanzo was pretty sure that if he wanted, the musician could convince you to give a chance to a basket of venomous angry snakes. It might be unwise, but his enthusiasm was contagious, and you’d find yourself petting a reptile before you had the time to think about it twice.

Hanzo tried to relax, but even under the honey colored light of the cafe, there was no way to mistake Bastion for a regular Omnic. The awful bright green Christmas sweater helped a little, though. No self-respecting killing machine would be caught dead with a penguin holding a candy cane plastered on their chest.

 

***************************************

 

Genji anxiously looked at his com. Zenyatta had informed him that he’d be running late but he couldn’t help but worry. What if something had happened to him? His Master was strong enough to fend off attackers but...

Genji’s breath caught in his throat as Zenyatta finally passed the door. He wasn’t wearing his usual pants and sash. Somehow, he had traded them for a floral black and gold jacket, button ups, straight pants and a bowler hat. The silver of his frame seemed to glow brighter than usual, as if it had been polished. He looked… Genji couldn’t put it into words, but his heart thundered in his chest. If he hadn’t been in love before, he would have felled right there, right now.

Zenyatta made his way to the booth and Genji grabbed a menu to busy himself before he blurted out something stupid and embarrassing. Hanzo cocked a brow at his brother. Zenyatta was walking around half naked everyday, why was he flustered now that he was  _ more _ covered?

“Greetings. I apologize for my lateness, I mentioned our outing to Miss Oxton and she was... insistent that I change my clothes. I hope this is appropriate,” he said gesturing to his outfit. ”Emily and her disagreed on whether the jacket was tacky or not. As the greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances, I left them to their debate and hurried here.”

“It’s… perfect, Master. It suits you.”

“Thank you.”

Hanzo closed his eyes so nobody could see him rolling them.

“I am surprised you managed to escape the British girl’s clutches. She is quite fast on her feet.” 

“The secret, my friend, is deception. I climbed out the bathroom window.”

The Omnic’s orbs sped up briefly with mirth then settled back down. Hanzo felt the corners of his lips twitch upward despite himself.

Genji’s com vibrated. A selfie of Lena and Emily smiled at him on their group chat. Behind them was their tiny bathroom window, unhinged from its frame.

L: You’re welcome.

He bit down a chuckle and texted them back quickly.

G: I owe you my life.

L: Treat us to ice-cream someday.

E: He sure is oblivious.

E: Turn the gay up to eleven if you want him to even notice this is a date.

L: We got your back!

When he lowered his com, Zenyatta was in deep discussion with Bastion. Usually, Genji appreciated their presence, but right now they were monopolizing his Master and that would not do. With a sigh, he snapped open his com one more time and texted his brother.

G: Weren’t you supposed to keep Bastion busy?

Hanzo stared at him. Then typed furiously, a deep frown creasing his face.

H: I do not  _ understand _ them.

G: Give them a chance. They’re very different, but they’re nice.

H: I meant I do not  _ understand _ them, when they  _ talk _ .

Oh yeah. Not everyone spoke binary. There was always something, wasn’t there?

G: Listen with your heart brother, you will understand.

He closed the convo before Hanzo could type back something rude. He would figure out something. Right now, Genji needed a distraction so he could catch Zenyatta’s attention. Flirting was difficult when your date was busy talking with someone else.

Luckily for him, Jinghua, their omnic waitress was back, a pad in her hand.

“Are you ready to order, or do you need a few more minutes?”

“I think we’re ready.”

“Very well.” She turned to Zenyatta. “May I recommend you our brew of organic oil? It’s produced locally, by Omnics and for Omnics.”

“Every experience holds within it a blessing. It would be my pleasure.”

“I’ll have green tea,” said Genji when she turned to him. His synthetic tongue couldn’t taste as well as the original did, but he still enjoyed the warmth of a steaming cup between his fingers.

“I’ll have coffee, and a slice of strawberry pie, please.”

Hanzo ignored the shit-eating grin he could feel radiating from Genji’s helmet. Yes, someone his age with a sweet tooth was laughable, but if he were to suffer through this ordeal, he might as well indulge in his vices. Bastion bleeped and Junghia nodded.

“And your usual, a seed mix for little Ganymede here.”

The bird perched on her shoulder and gave her a quick peck where her cheek would have been had she had human features. She let out a mechanic giggle, her light sensors blinking softly. Ganymede went back to Bastion’s side with a short, emphatic chirp.

“I’ll be back with your order in just a moment.”

She left with a spring in her step. Hanzo eyed the yellow bird curiously. He had seen some like it before, but in Germany. It wasn’t a domesticated species, so it couldn’t be a pet. Was it just a wild bird that had taken a liking to the robot? It couldn’t possibly be. Hanzo was no animal specialist, but he knew woodland critters didn’t randomly attach themselves to people, let alone war machines.

“So that’s its name? Ganymede?” He slowly held out his hand to try and touch its feathers.

That proved to be a mistake.

The bird’s crest flared out. It spread its wings menacingly, hissing, its beady eyes burning with pure murderous rage. The archer barely saved his fingers in time from being pinched. He leaned away, trying to put as much distance possible in the booth between him and the tiny ball of feathers and wrath.

“Holy shit, he really hates you!”

“Not. Helping. Genji.” Hanzo hissed.

Bastion cupped the bird in their hands, trying to soothe it. They were failing. If anything, Ganymede only looked angrier. They beeped apologetically at Hanzo, lowering their head down.

“It’s quite alright, Bastion. With time, we will warm up to each other.”

The bird let out an indignant peep. Hanzo had no doubt that, given the chance, it would try to murder him in his sleep. He had been hunted down ever since he had destroyed the Shimada Empire. An assassin this small would be a first. He stared it down, a smirk stretching his lips that meant “I’d like to see you  _ try _ ”. Ganymede bristled, fluffing his feathers to make himself bigger and more threatening, and stared right back at him.

_ Bring it on, little one. _


End file.
